by David Rowland
Autistic people cannot feel emotion. We have to process our emotions intellectually, a process that can take days, years, or even decades. Being unable to feel makes us vulnerable to emotional attack. We become devastated and defenseless. We have no idea what is happening or why. We only know that in some way we must have failed to meet our partner’s expectations.
During the 22 years of my first marriage, my ex-wife was a heat-seeking missile who instinctively knew how to exploit every aspect of my emotional vulnerability. I was unable to figure out that this is what had been happening until 30 years after the marriage was over.